Sex Matters

When people think of anal sex, they usually picture two groups as the receivers: women and gay men. But the rise in popularity of pegging is changing that.

So, what exactly is pegging? It’s when a straight woman uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate her straight male partner. It’s a sexual practice that’s getting more attention and opening up new conversations about pleasure, power relations, and intimacy in heterosexual relationships.

If you believe the continuing rumors that have been swirling for the last five years, England’s heir to the throne is quite the fan of pegging—though, in this case, the strap-on is reportedly worn by someone other than his wife. A story speculating on the scandalous details was allegedly pulled under pressure from the palace, but not before Prince William was hilariously crowned “The Prince of Pegging” in a viral meme.

But even if the rumors are true—so what? While the alleged infidelity might be an issue, the interest in pegging isn’t exactly scandalous. Anyone familiar with male anatomy knows that the prostate is highly sensitive, and stimulating it can lead to intensely pleasurable orgasms. It’s science, not scandal.

For many women, the pleasure of taking on a traditionally dominant role can be incredibly exciting—just as much as the act of giving their partner a mind-blowing orgasm.

Another benefit of pegging is that it contests outdated ideas about what’s considered “acceptable” male sexuality. In a heteronormative society, there’s a lot of pressure for men to be straight, dominant, and in control—and for a long time, a man fantasizing about anal play risked being seen as less than the so-called heterosexual ideal. But as more men embrace anal pleasure, that stigma is beginning to fade.

If you think pegging is just a fringe practice reserved for eccentric, philandering royals or the ultra-adventurous, think again. Online forums are packed with discussions, tips, and tricks, and even Men’s Health has weighed in—publishing a list of the top eight sex toys for pegging enthusiasts.

So, where do you start if you and your partner want to flip the script on traditional penetration? Step one: consent. As with any new sexual experience, both partners need to be comfortable, open, and willing to respect each other’s boundaries.

If you’re both on board, the next step is choosing the right toys. Pegging requires a harness and an attachable dildo, which can be bought separately or as a set. The harness should be chosen by the woman, since she’ll want something comfortable—options range from underwear-style to traditional strap-on designs. The dildo, on the other hand, should be picked by the man, with choices ranging from slim silicone models to larger, more realistic options.

And, of course, don’t forget the lube!

First-timers may want to start slow and gradually work up to full penetration. Anal play with a well-lubed, condom-coated finger or a small dildo can help the receiving partner adjust to the sensation—and the pleasure—of being penetrated.

A great way to enhance pleasure is by finding and massaging the prostate, which is located about two inches inside, on the front wall of the rectum. Stimulating this area can be groundbreaking for pleasure and arousal.

Communication is key throughout the entire process. If either of you has doubts or needs to slow down, speak up and let your partner know. And if you’re worried that saying “stop” might kill the mood, consider agreeing on a safe word instead.

As your comfort level grows, you can gradually move up to larger toys before taking the plunge into your first, long-awaited pegging experience. For this, the missionary position is often ideal, as it gives the giver the best angle for penetration and control.

Again, lots of lube and plenty of foreplay are essential. And if you’re in an adventurous mood, incorporating oral sex can help heighten arousal and make the experience even more pleasurable.

Take it slow—pegging, especially the first time, is a marathon, not a sprint. The receiver should take deep breaths, with the giver penetrating on the exhale to help ease into the experience. Sustain this rhythm until you’ve reached the level of penetration that’s comfortable and enjoyable.

If the receiver wants to take control and thrust, go with it! Just be sure to stay mindful of boundaries and keep communication open throughout.

Afterward, talk about it. Even if you both enjoyed the experience, some men may still feel shame or vulnerability. Being penetrated by a partner can bring up unexpected emotions, including guilt or insecurity.

If you’re the giver, offer plenty of reassurance. Let him know how much you enjoyed it, too, and reinforce that his pleasure was just as exciting for you. Open, honest communication may help both of you feel even more comfortable exploring further.

Sexuality exists on a spectrum, and pegging is an evolving shade that can leave both the giver and receiver feeling more open, connected, and empowered.